Why Good Manners Matter

How to improve your overall results is your relations with others

The vast majority of people get far fewer great results they are hoping for or think they deserve. One great place to look if you’d like to improve your overall results is your relations with others. Most of the time, instead of being alone, we are engaged at various levels with various people. Many of these are in a position to help us achieve the results we want. In fact, most people are more than willing to help us.

Empower Others

I’ve discovered many of us are not as courteous or as engaged as we should be. There’s a lot about this area to talk about, but I want to focus in on three specific things right now.

I find that increasing our effectiveness in these three will help us in magnificent ways.

The first is our overall appreciation of others. Next, is the level of social engagement we have. And the third, is our overall awareness of people in general.


Concentrate on being connected to others at a higher level.

There are several things we can do to improve our level of connectivity and none of them are difficult. But, sadly many of them are overlooked or under done much too often. It helps a tremendous amount to say “thank you” much more often and much more authentically.

There are many times when someone does something for you. It registers in your mind that it was a nice thing, but you don’t say so.

Make it a habit to authentically say “thank you” to folks when they do something for you. It doesn’t have to be a big thing, it just has to be something they have given you or done for you.

If you are with the individual at the time, simply say “thank you” right away. Note your tone and other body language to make certain you are being authentic and genuine.

If the individual who helped you is someplace else you won’t be able to directly talk to them. So, take the time to make the phone call. Or, send them an e-mail. Better yet, send them a hand written and thoughtful note.

Bottom line is to take the time to really connect with other people.


Everyone likes to feel honored. I’ve noticed that the phrase, “no problem” has become a substitution for “you are welcome”.

While many people, particularly younger ones,  might feel they’re pretty much one and the same, not everyone does.

Your objective should be to be fully engaged in all your relationships. Think about replacing the phrase, “no problem” with “my pleasure”. You’ll quickly see the difference in the other individual’s behavior towards you. They will definitely respond better to the second of those two comments.

Next time somebody asks you how you feel today, don’t just say “fine” or “okay”, say something like “great”.

I remember an administrative assistant at one of my client’s offices. She was always really sunny. Every time I saw her and asked her how she was, she would say something like “terrific”. That got me going.

I used to like to tell her I felt, “excellent”. Next time I saw her she would tell me that she was “splendid”. I would respond with something like, “I feel spectacular.” My interchanges with her were very wonderful and rich as a result these interchanges.


We all need to constantly increase our situational awareness. That’s the step where we carefully and completely analyze our situation and produce an analysis of the environment.

That’s a formal methodology and very effective. With people, we need to be more aware of them. This means constantly having our radar up and engaged.

To do this really well, you need to focus on being much more interested than interesting. Believe me, people will notice the difference and respond accordingly.

Learn how to stop, focus and listen. Don’t worry so much about yourself, focus on the other individual and how they’re doing.


But, none of this is in any way difficult. And that’s just the point. Just because it isn’t difficult to do the things we’ve mentioned above doesn’t mean they’re often done.

Separate yourself from most of the others by being somebody who genuinely connects with other people; enthusiastically honors other individuals; and, acknowledges everyone at a high level.

Doing these three things and doing these three things well will make an incredible difference in your own personal productivity. The results you will be achieving will become better and better.